Intimacy as an Issue for Growth, Transcendence and Pleasure

When we think of intimacy, the general and conventional reaction is one of touching the heavens, or light falling on darkness or relationships where one or both people are disgruntled and dissatisfied. There is another, more general and light hearted way of thinking about intimacy. Basically, in my opinion, intimacy is about speaking the truth of your experience in a skillful and empowered way that allows the other person to perceive you as someone different from oneself.

The dilemma most people experience has to do with thinking that the person you're wanting to be intimate with is profoundly different and therefore unable to accept the truth of your communication. Allowing for difference in others is not as easy as it sounds, especially if the other is perceived as very different, which is often the case. Basically, intimacy is meant to be easy, satisfying and growth producing. Unfortunately, it is often the basis for great suffering, confusion and pain.

Impermanence in the Consulting Relationship

Nothing lasts is the point of this idea. What I'm focusing on is the essence of this moment and the necessity to become aware that within this moment everything exists. So long as that is the case agreement  then childhood conditioning along with adult neurosis is unimportant in contrast to the impermanence in this moment.

However, having said that, what is also essential and the dilemma faced by many spiritual seekers, is the necessity to step into the truth of one's childhood conditioning in order to discharge that energy and release the defensive mechanisms held in place by the being and body. The essential role of the psychotherapist is therefore to facilitate the release of childhood fears and defenses so as to allow the individual to choose and become peaceful with life as it is.

When I work with a client in the "consulting relationship" we arrive at the place of impermanence once our  bond is sufficiently stable and trust truly established for the deeper reality of impermanence and the universality of each moment becomes possible.

There are many people in the spiritual community who seek to bypass the difficult work of re-experiencing childhood wounding in favor of connecting with the light and positive affects that are also available as part of the human condition. What these people often experience are "accidents", illnesses and unpleasant occurrences  which filter through the defensive make over.

There are also those people in the psychological community who seemed trapped in the conditioning from childhood in their being and body for whom each moment is another opportunity to revisit their closely held suffering.

What I think we are really after as human beings is a way to  be free from considerations having to do with the past and presence ourselves in a body based or somatic reality of authentically experienced truth, however it is revealed.